Life is a journey

Monday, July 9, 2007

Have you ever had the sudden feeling that actually all the things you’ve been doing, trying to achieve, thought you wanted and would make you happy was actually all a fantasy, a self deception. All this while she thought she was working towards something she had always wanted but never had the courage to do so. Moving forward to new surroundings and a better future. Walking along the streets today, self doubt crept in, what if all this were actually an illusion; what if achieving all this never makes her happy. What if all she thought she wanted was actually the exact opposite? Yet many times, it’s her very own expectations that kill the soul within her. She lost it, lost all self control and felt the same feeling she hasn’t in ages. Disappointed not at others but herself. A pity humans weren’t given the power to turn back time. How many would want to return to the past and how many would want to fast forward to the future. Someone once said to her, “You just gotta do what you gotta do. If you’re gonna be uncomfortable doing it. Then you jolly well be uncomfortable doing it. Cos the more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll feel doing it.” She tried but lost it today, the courage bank is empty for now. Perhaps it’s already been drained for a while. Searching and wondering what would feel up the empty banks lying around, she realized that she’s been wrong all this while. She had been fighting for the wrong thing all this while, instead of moving forward, it was just a simple case of moving not backwards, but sideways in a different route and unknown route. Building a tower takes years, moreover a steel wall around the tower. Working towards that goal takes time, slowly but surely. So many opinions, two different choices. Right versus wrong, who actually decides. Inspiration, no more negotiations please. No more a windchaser.

Choose to embrace the pain and face fear in the eye. Only then do you know if it's all worth it. -Sarafo Pachipu-