Life is a journey

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

How long will it take to mend a broken heart? Experts say half the time you were together. I tell myself and the people around me that it's too long a time. I can't afford that amount of time cos I'll prob be dead by then. And yet who can define or set a time limit.

I used to tell people, only time will heal the pain but I can't practice what I preach. It's often the case. It's been a month and I'm still standing right where I started, each time when I feel like I've taken 3 steps forward, I suddenly get blown away and I fall 10 steps behind. It's the cruel little thing called hope, something that I gotta kill to move on and yet have to live on, how ironic.

It's funny how life sometimes play a cruel joke on you. We've switched places. You used to try when I wanted to give up and yet when I wanted to try, you gave up.

I used to think I was strong
but now I know that I was so wrong
How could a love that held on for so long
suddenly become so torn
All the promises that were sworn
Have fallen into the pond (Hah! Crapess)
Now that you're gone
I'm left alone to mourn

My heart bleeds and my heart hurts, so bad that I don't know if I'll ever be what or who I used to be. Yes I will not die without you but yes also that many times I just feel like doing so. I'm broken and all I'm trying to do right now is to pick up the broken pieces and try to mend them back. I don't know if I'll ever be whole again or will I ever finish picking the pieces up. I've lost myself and my sense of direction. I hate it coz I didn't used to be like that. I hate being weak and I hate to feel this way. I'm so scared of falling behind and I'm so afraid that I'll remain in this spot forever.

In the process of losing you, I've also lost myself.